Worry

Erma Bombeck says it best, “Worry is like a rocking chair: It gives you something to do but never gets you anywhere.” If you have spent any time near a television, newspaper, radio, or on social media, you are well aware of the current unrest going on in the Middle East. As the wife of a deployed soldier, reading the “Breaking News” reports is like a punch to the throat these days. It’s hard to breath sometimes. Worry fills me up, and if I’m not careful it can consume me.

I broke down in front of the kids the other evening when I read about the missile strikes and possible future targets. Seeing mom cry is a pretty big deal to them. I try my absolute hardest to expose them to as little of this as I possibly can. But let me tell you, their little hugs and wiping away of my tears was the sweetest, most comforting balm ever. Shortly after the mommy breakdown incident, I was texting with a friend about it. I was beating myself up so much because I didn’t want the kids to worry, but I also just couldn’t hold it in. She reminded me that I am human, and it’s important for my kids to see me as not just mom, but as a human.

The last conversation I had with Andre before the missile strikes was not the greatest. I was frustrated about something breaking, and I was super short on the phone. You can imagine the guilt I felt in the hours between finding out about the strikes and actually getting to talk to Andre again. I’d like to think that for the remainder of this deployment I won’t have short conversations, and I’ll always be grateful for every moment we get to talk. But I’m going to take my friends advice, and remember that I am human and it’s okay.

While I am incredibly worried about the present and future, we have made it yet another month through this deployment. We still have many things to accomplish on our deployment bucket list, and I decided to add a family challenge to the mix as well. We are doing a “52 Acts of Kindness Challenge” for 2020. Each week, we have to decide what our kindness goal is for the week and see how many times we can achieve it. Week 1 is “help someone put on their coat.” It’s cute to watch the kids help each other and to hear reports from Raina about how she has helped her friends at school. We are making it up as we go, ensuring each weekly goal is something everyone can participate in.

A huge thank you to everyone who has reached out and who continues to think about and pray for our family and the soldiers. It’s a helpless feeling to stand by and watch and not know how to help. I think the best things we can all do are to love each other a little more, share more hugs, be present and spread kindness.